August 2025

Spotting Suicide Warning Signs in Students and What to Do

John Ackerman
John Ackerman, PhD

Article Summary

 
  • Suicide warning signs include changes in behavior (such as withdrawing from others), mood (which could include irritability or anger) or declining academic performance.
  • Pay attention to what students say, how they’re engaging with peers and listening for expressions of hopelessness or talk about death.
  • If you notice warning signs, engage in open conversations, support the student and seek help from mental health professionals or school staff.

You spend hours with students every day. You care about them. As kids share about things going on in their lives, do you know what to look for as potential warning signs they may be having thoughts of suicide?

What Should I Look For?

Sometimes a student will voice thoughts of wanting to die or self-harm directly. Or they may post something on social media that suggests they no longer want to be alive.

Listen for:

  • Talking about death, dying, ending their life
  • Feeling worthless or feeling like they are a burden
  • Saying “goodbyes” to friends or loved ones

Look for:

  • Researching topics suicide or methods of ending one’s life
  • Giving away valued belongings
  • Major changes in behavior (i.e. have they withdrawn from their usual friends? Are they looking more tired or distracted than usual? Are they suddenly aggressive or argumentative?)
  • Major changes in thinking (i.e. are they much more negative about themselves or their future? Does it seem like they’re struggling to think clearly? Do they feel like their situation is hopeless or will never get better?)
  • Unusual risk-taking that could lead to harm

What Should I Do?

If you see these signs in a student, you’ll want to talk directly to that student. You might assume other staff such as counselors will pick up on these signs, but sometimes you are the only one who sees these aspects of a student’s life. We suggest the following approaches:

  • “I’ve noticed that lately you are “doing/saying X” (behavior or speech) and that seems different for you. I care about you and want to make sure you are okay. Can you tell me about how things are going right now?”

If you’ve noticed any of the warning signs discussed above, you should ask directly:

  • “Because I care about you, I need to ask you a kind of personal question. Are you feeling like ending your life?” or “Have you been having suicidal thoughts?”

It could feel awkward to ask such a direct question, so you might want to practice it a few times before you talk to the student. But if you’re asking a student who has been thinking about ending their life whether they have ever thought about suicide, it’s not shocking to them because it’s been on their mind already.

It’s often a relief for someone struggling with suicidal thoughts to have a caring adult who is willing to talk to them about their feelings. It can be especially encouraging for them if the adult makes it clear that they care about the student’s well-being and want to help them get the support they need.

They Are Having Suicidal Thoughts, How Do I Help?

You should be present, validate their emotions whatever they are and then listen:

Be Present:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Acknowledge your own discomfort (it’s normal for this to be hard!)
  • Try to remain calm
  • Remember that you’re here to provide support, not fix everything all at once

Validate Difficult Emotions:

  • Acknowledge that they’re hurting
  • Ask them questions about what is going on
  • Instill hope. Remind them that there is support and there are things we can do to make this crisis short-lived
  • Let them know you, and other adults in their lives, will be there to support them and help navigate these challenging times.

Listen with Intention:

  • As much as possible, let them share without interruption
  • Don’t argue with their feelings and thoughts
  • Avoid offering solutions to their problems (don’t look for an easy “fix” - this can be invalidating)

As you talk to your student, don’t promise that you will keep their suicidal thoughts a secret. Let them know that getting support means you will have to let others know. Then follow the guidelines your school has for notifying parents and administration. Lastly, always consult with colleagues. This tough work is not meant to be done alone.

 

 

Resources

It’s a good idea to have a suicide crisis line or local urgent behavioral health resources saved in your phone in case you need it.

Call, text or chat the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or you can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting "START" to 741-741.

If you or a child need help due to having suicidal thoughts, call, chat or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text the Crisis Text Line by texting "START" to 741-741. If there is an immediate safety concern, call 911 or go the nearest emergency room.